Nowhere Man
by MissyThang
Summary: An unusual Trigun/Cowboy Bebop yaoiish crossover, that will be fairly long in length. What if Vash happened by Syndicate Headquarters after Spike's final battle?
1. He's a real nowhere Man,

Nowhere Man  
  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
Warnings: This will eventually be rated either R or NC-17, due to my way too large propensity for yaoi. I don't know what the pairings will be yet.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, Cowboy Bebop or the song Nowhere Man. These are all excellent works of creative minds, and I'm just not that talented. Sad, but true.  
  
Author's notes:  
  
This is a strange mind-burp of a crossover fic using the lovely characters from Trigun and Cowboy Bebop. This will be yaoi, but I don't know when, since this is my secondary fic right. Don't expect too many updates just yet, but I will try to add to this one semi-regularly  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He's a real nowhere Man,  
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,  
Making all his nowhere plans  
for nobody.   
-Beatles---Nowhere Man  
  
  
  
  
"Wh-where...am I?" The green haired man opened his eyes wide, then immediately closed them, wincing. "Too fucking bright. What's going on?"  
  
"Oh good, you're awake! A very enthusiastic male voice chirped in the man's ear. Spike couldn't place the voice with anyone he remembered. He was supposed to be dead...so this was...  
  
"Am I in hell?" Spike rasped; the strangers eyes widened slightly, not that Spike could see him. Spike couldn't see much of anything squinting the way he was.  
  
"Goodness no! Whatever gave you that idea?" Right, not in hell....so...  
  
"Heaven? You an angel?"  
  
"Although I've been known for my incredible good nature, no, I'm not an angel. And you're not in heaven. You're quite alive, my green haired friend." This guy was strange...Spike wondered exactly what kind of man was behind his voice. Probably Asian, from the accent, most likely short, like most Asian men he had met. An Asian accent, in this day and age? Maybe a scientist from one of the moon colonies. Spike had heard of a few that still spoke certain Asian dialects. Wait... he was alive? How?  
  
"I'm alive....how?" Spike figured he was doing fairly well in the conversation department for having been dead three minutes ago. He was still feeling a little fuzzy on that, but on a good note, his eyes were adjusting to the light in...wherever he was. Since when did his false eye need time to adjust? Eh...fuck it. Too tired to think.  
  
"Well...I'll tell you, but don't ask any more questions. You, sir, need some more rest. See... I was walking along, minding my own business and wondering exactly how many donuts 60 woolongs will buy me, when I hear this giant explosion, then some gunfire...a couple more explosions... more gunfire...then there was this big bang noise, I don't know what that was...then some more..."  
  
"Get...to the point!" Spike managed to hiss out. God, his throat hurt...and he was dying for a cigarette.  
  
"Yosh! Well, anyway, I hear a bunch of stuff, so naturally I go running towards the noise to see if anyone needs any help. I get inside this big old building, glass everywhere, men with guns, your typical carnage scene. Then I'm seeing this guy walking down these stairs, bleeding like a...thing that bleeds a lot. So all these guys are watching, and I'm assuming they're not exactly friendly to this bleeding person, seeing as they don't all go and rush to help him."  
  
"So...?" This man sure liked to hear the sound of his own voice....joy.  
  
"So...," now he sounded slightly miffed, "I grab said bleeding guy and high-tail it outta there before anything else can happen. And what do you know...that guy is you!" Spike frowned...it hurt to frown, but he did it regardless. There were holes in that story, a lot of holes. But he chose to believe it, for the time being. Spike opened his eyes wider, able to discern a few things from his surroundings. Everything was blurry, but he'd bet his last woolong he was in a medical room aboard some sort of ship. Everything was metal, or white...and he was laying on some kind of bed.  
  
"Why? ...was supposed to die---wanted to...die..." Spike was fighting a losing battle to try and stay conscious, but he was just so tired.  
  
"Oh, I disapprove of suicide more than anything." Was the last thing the green haired man heard before he drifted back into a blue abyss.  
  
  
Unknown Time Later---  
  
Spike was awake, again, only this time there was no overly nervous stranger watching over him. He opened his eyes slowly, letting himself get used to light in increments. After an undetermined amount of time, he was able to look around without any fuzziness.  
  
He was in a medical room, on a ship all right, but it didn't look like any medical room Spike had seen before. He could barely describe most of the things he could see, and had no hope of actually identifying them. After only a few moments, Spike heard footsteps coming towards him.  
  
"Hey, that was pretty fast." The figure strolled into the room, grinning down at him, "You're a real quick healer, you know that?" Well, Spike's appearance theory was now officially shot to hell.  
  
The semi-Asian voice belonged to an insanely tall, fairly thin but muscular blond haired, green eyed man. The blonde man had a childlike grin on his face, and appeared to be wearing a very strange red duster/thing over a tight black vinyl body suit. Whatever gets you going...  
  
"So I've been told," Spike always was a quick healer, maybe owing to how many times he'd been near death. God had a fucked up sense of humor, "how long was I out, and why do I feel so much better than before?"  
  
"Oh, about a week, and because I healed you. You're going to be slightly weak for a few days, but your body is good as new." The man snapped his fingers, "I forgot! I replaced that old bionic eye of yours with a newer model I made myself. It should feel a lot more real now." Who the hell was this guy?  
  
"Who the hell are you?" The blonde cocked his head to one side, grinning insanely.  
  
"I am a lone gunman, searching the galaxies for love. My motto is clear, my creed is pure, to uphold standards and achieve my goal of LOVE & PEACE! I am the one...the only, the incomparable, Vash the Stampede!" Spike could swear he saw sparkles dancing around Vash's face.  
  
"Right, you're an idiot. Got that part. How did you heal me so quickly?" Spike could almost see the man deflate into a rather feminine looking pout.  
  
"Well, I think my tag line is cute," Vash sighs, heavily, "healing you was easy, compared to some of the things I've had happen to me. Just think of me as a medical hobbyist. You healed quickly because I used technology not really available to most ningens. My turn, cause you owe me something. Tell me, why were you in the middle of a minor war zone, and why are you supposed to be dead?"  
  
So Spike explained, in minimal detail his life with the syndicate, falling for Julia, his rivalry with Vicious, his faked death and the events that came afterwards, culminating with Julia's death and his own final battle with his rival." After finishing his story, he looked up from reminiscing, rather startled to see the tall man bawling his eyes out.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
"I'm sorry, it's just so...so very sad!!" Vash sobbed into his hands, "Well, never you mind that now, you're staying right here, with me until I can manage to cheer you up. It's the least I can do after such a sad," sniffle, sniffle...sob, "SAD story. Or my name isn't Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon!"  
  
"Right. You're a nut, got it. So, what...I'm your hostage?" Spike could almost hear the 'dur?' sound coming from Vash's expression.  
  
"Dear Kami no! But I can't have a perfectly good human life go to waste, now can I? I'm not about to let you go so you can get yourself hurt and have me heal you all over again." Vash smiles sweetly, "Anyway, I was kind of in a similar situation a while back, so maybe I can help."  
  
"Similar?" Spike quirked an eyebrow, struggling to sit up. Vash leapt up to help him, steadying the bounty hunters movements with his hands. After Spike had succeeded in maintaining an upright position, he looked directly at the blonde, trying to ignore the fact that he needed help to move. "How?"  
  
"Well...it's a really, really long and boring story, so I'll make it short. There was this guy, Knives. Well actually, Knives is my brother, and he never really wanted to kill me, just hurt me enough to fracture my entire moral system." Spike stared at the man in uncharacteristic puzzlement, "So, Knives and I had this rivalry...of sorts. I ended up shooting him a bunch of times, he ended up trying to kill everything around me I cared about, but we worked it out. He's a pretty good guy now. Keeps to himself, mostly, likes to play chess." It was Spike's turn to have a 'dur?' expression on his face.  
  
"You're a strange one, You know that?" Spike grinned in spite of himself. Vash nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm told that all the time!" Vash laughed lightly, then turned serious. "Is there anyone you want me to talk to, or notify about where you are?" Spike thought about Faye, and her face as he left, for what he thought was the last time. He thought about Jet, poor Jet, losing everything he thought he had in one decisive movement. Who knew what Jet was thinking right now...  
  
"There's a ship, the Cowboy Bebop, signal number 051760X-dl452. Can you get in contact with them?" Vash nodded, turning to a panel and pressing a few buttons. A monitor descended from the ceiling, stopping at Spike's eye level. Spike closed his eyes, inhaling deeply in anticipation of his friends...no, family's reaction to his 'resurrection'. A face flickered onto the screen. Jet's face, but he was turned toward something on the ship's deck.  
  
"Bebop here, this had better be good, cause this ships just about to go to he---SPIKE?!!!!" Spike watched in amusement as Jet's cigar fell from his gaping mouth.  
  
"Hey Jet. You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"I just did! You're supposed to be dead, everyone thought that you...," Jet turned serious, "where are you? Are they holding you hostage? How'd you get to the phone?" Spike raised his hands defensively.  
  
"I'm on some sort of ship, I dunno what kind, cause I haven't been awake long enough to find out. I'm not being held hostage, I don't think...and the man who brought me here gave me the phone. So, what's going on with the ship?" Jet sighed at his friends easygoing mentality.   
  
"The usual. No fuel, less food and no means of getting to any planet or supply colony in any manner whatsoever. After the syndicate received your little gift, they decided to hunt down the Bebop to return the favor. We got away, but just barely. Now, to steal Ed's phrase, we're drifting through space towards certain oblivion." Jet mimicked Ed's high-pitched tone, and Spike stared at his friend for a moment.  
  
"We?" Jet nodded.  
  
"Faye's with me. She hasn't really left since you disappeared." Spike gave Jet a lecherous grin.  
  
"I see...you dirty old man!" Jet scowled at him darkly.  
  
"You know its not like that, she's way too...too, well, she's too Faye." Spike shrugged.  
  
"If you say so... Hey Vash?" Spike turned from the screen. Vash raised his eyebrows, "How far are we from the Bebop? Can we pick up my friends?"  
  
"I've got the signal, it shouldn't take more than a half hour. I could put the entire ship into the bay, if your friend wants. He can repair it here, we have the materials."  
  
"Just how big is your ship?" The blond grinned at Spike, shoving him to right so Vash could be seen by the monitor as well.  
  
"Really big. I could probably fit a couple hundred ships the size of the Bebop in one of my ship bays. Not that I'd really need to." Jet nodded to Vash, masking his surprise over the blonde's appearance.  
  
"That's one big ship all right. Why?"  
  
"Well, you could say it has a lot of sentimental value, eh-heh-heh.." Vash grinned rather sheepishly, "anyway, I'll pick you up, be there in around twenty minutes or so."  
  
"My sensors don't indicate any ships within a twenty minute range-"  
  
"My ship is faster than average. Ja ne."  
  
"Ja...what?" Jet's confused expression winked out as Vash hit a button on the side of the monitor."  
  
"Yosh! Well, then...let's get going, ne?" Vash grinned at Spike, receiving an annoyed glare in return.  
  
"What language are you speaking anyway?" Spike swung his legs over the side of the bed, intent on standing up.  
  
"Hmm? Oh, Japanese. I just kinda picked it up here and there, cool huh?" Japanese? Spike glared at Vash.  
  
"Japanese hasn't been spoken in the past three hundred years, and you just...'picked it up', huh? Spike made little quotes with his fingers as he spoke.  
  
"Well.... I'm a bit of a history buff. I like linguistics too.."  
  
"You're a horrible liar." Spike observed wryly.  
  
"I suppose so. I should probably get this ship moving, don't want to leave your friends stranded any longer than necessary!" Spike watched as Vash pulled up another monitor, pressing different buttons on the screen, then nodding to himself.  
  
"Okay, we'll rendezvous with the Bebop in approximately fifteen minutes." Spike nodded to the strange blonde, idly wishing for a cigarette. It would make his life less confusing about now.  
  
Vash turned to leave, then slapped his forehead loudly, turning back. "Almost forgot! There are clothes in the cabinet behind you, they might not really fit well, but you should probably get dressed before meeting your friends." Spike swore Vash was trying not to laugh as he left the room.  
  
Spike slowly stood up, a bit wobbly, but still standing. Then it hit him.   
  
He was naked though that whole conversation?  
  
"Well, shit."  
  
  
  
  
  
(More A/N These are the lyrics to the song that inspired this entire )(&*@ fic. I think they're pretty damn appropriate for describing both main characters of both shows, respectively. And Knives. **huge grin**)  
  
Nowhere Man- The Beatles  
  
He's a real nowhere Man,  
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,  
Making all his nowhere plans  
for nobody.   
  
Doesn't have a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me?  
Nowhere Man, please listen,  
You don't know what you're missing,  
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.   
  
He's as blind as he can be,  
Just sees what he wants to see,  
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?  
Doesn't have a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me?  
Nowhere Man, don't worry,  
Take your time, don't hurry,  
Leave it all till somebody else  
lend you a hand.   
  
He's a real Nowhere Man,  
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,  
Making all his nowhere plans  
for nobody. 


	2. Sitting in his Nowhere Land,

Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: This is going to be yaoi, I just don't know when or where. All good things some to those who wait.  
  
Disclaimer: I neither own, nor rent any ideas, characters or other things from Trigun, Cowboy Bebop or the song Nowhere Man; but I'd be happy to if they'd let me.  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Second Chapter of a strange little story. Vash's point of view this time. I'll be switching between characters for fun.  
  
  
  
  
  
Doesn't have a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me?  
Nowhere Man, please listen,  
You don't know what you're missing,  
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.   
--Nowhere Man, the Beatles  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Vash sighed impatiently. At this rate, he was never going to get home. All he wanted, before this giant fiasco, was to get the supplies Knives wanted, and maybe a few donuts for himself. So, just how did he end up gallivanting halfway across Solaris and back to rescue strangers and pick up an old junk ship?  
  
/I'll tell you how, dear brother, you're too soft-hearted. And to think, I used to believe I could change your mind./  
  
/Aww, come on brother, you're still whining about that? Tell you what; I'll bring you home something really wonderful for your collection./  
  
/I'm not whining, merely stating a fact, with some reluctance. A gift? I suppose that will do, but it better be good./  
  
/It will be brother, but I might be a great deal longer than anticipated. Now I'm picking up a drifting spaceship/  
  
/So the ningen has friends? Hn, wonder where they were when he nearly died. Human bonds are so fragile./  
  
/You should talk, I remember a certain gun battle some time ago.../  
  
/Never mention that again./  
  
/Regardless, I wanted to tell you about picking up this new ship, as a courtesy./  
  
/Well, courtesy appreciated. I guess I can do something else while I wait for the terraformer's parts. Pity, I'll be doing it alone.../  
  
/I'd change that if I could, brother. Thank you for your understanding./  
  
/Hn. I don't believe this...I'm getting as soft-hearted as you./  
  
Vash watched as the green-haired ningen strolled in, looking lost, but hiding it well. The man on the comm called him Spike.  
  
/Got to go brother, I'll update you later./ Vash smiled at Spike, gesturing for him to sit on one of the unoccupied couches littering the room. Spike nodded, sitting down with a relieved look on his face. Poor man must still be recovering.  
  
/By all means, go play with your new pets./  
  
/Well, at least you've stopped calling them spiders./  
  
/Only because you wished me not to. Goodbye, dear brother./ Vash felt his brother's presence dwindle down to a spark, then disappear from his consciousness all together.  
  
"Hi Spike!" Vash greeted cheerfully, "We've got about five minutes until we're in range of your friends ship."  
  
"Wait," Spike put a hand to his forehead, "just how do you know my name?"  
  
"That scary looking guy you were talking to on the comm."  
  
"Mm," Spike stretched himself out on the couch, grimacing slightly, "so why were you on Mars in the first place?"  
  
"Supply run." Vash called up a visual of the surrounding area, searching for the Bebop. Once he located it, he set the computer to lock on and initiate emergency docking/retrieval. The ship hummed as it followed his commands.  
  
"Supplies for what?" Vash watched the Bebop slowly being pulled into the bay by cables.  
  
"Knives, my brother. He's an inventor, of sorts. Likes to tinker with machines."  
  
/Tinker.....TINKER?!/  
  
/Stay out of my conversation, brother, would you rather I say 'Knives needs the parts to repair a machine busy at work terraforming a planet Ningens have forgotten existed?' That's go over real well./  
  
/B-but...tinker?/  
  
/I'm blocking you now./ Vash then noticed Spike speaking to him.  
  
"I'm sorry, what was that? I was thinking about something." He smiled innocently as Spike watched him with suspicion.  
  
"Nothing big; just telling you about that green light over there." Spike pointed to the controls next to Vash.  
  
"Aa...hai, yes. Your friends ship is safely aboard. Let's go see them!" Vash leapt to his feet, running over to the doorway, "I'm eager to meet people you consider friends." Vash pressed a few buttons on a control panel next to the door frame, as Spike shot him a questioning look.  
  
"You know the basics of gate technology, right? Quantum Physics, bringing two separate points in space together to jump across, all that?" Spike nodded, rising from his place on the couch to join Vash.  
  
"Well, these doorways are basically mini-gates, with programmable end points. You press a couple buttons here to pick where you want to go, and presto! Instant travel! Pretty convenient on a ship this size, let me tell you."  
  
"One of your brother's 'tinkerings'?" Spike asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Actually, no, I wired the doors. But I'm sure your friends are waiting, so we should really get going to meet them." Vash groaned inwardly at the suspicious glances Spike kept giving him. Why hadn't he told the man that Knives created the doors?  
  
/Because you're proud of those silly little things./  
  
/I thought I blocked you/  
  
/You think so little of me, brother, that you assume I wouldn't be able to breach a simple mind wall? That's disappointing, dear brother. But, I'll leave you alone for now, I've things to do. See you soon, brother./  
  
/I hope, but I'm not too sure of that now. Ja ne, Knives./  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Vash laughed as he pushed Spike through the doorway, stepping in after him. 


	3. Making all his nowhere plans,

Nowhere Man  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Yaoi alert! It will be here... I swear. Sometime, someplace...but somewhere in this fic!  
  
Disclaimer: Trigun. Cowboy Bebop and the song Nowhere Man do not belong to me. If they did, I'd be much happier than I am right now. And I'd probably be able to speak Japanese, too.  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Chapter three...it's coming along now..woo! This one has a few semi-POV switched. They're incredibly obvious  
  
  
  
He's as blind as he can be,  
Just sees what he wants to see,  
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?  
--Nowhere Man, the Beatles  
  
---Previous Chapter  
  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Vash laughed as he pushed Spike through the doorway, stepping in after him.  
  
  
  
---Chapter 3  
  
  
What the hell? Spike looks around in obvious amazement as Vash appears behind him.  
  
"Where are we?" Shit, this place is huge. Bigger than huge. Gigantic. Thankfully, the Bebop is in the closest docking bay to the door, one out of what looks to be a couple hundred.  
  
"Welcome to docking bay number one." Vash chirps cheerfully. Spike sighs, slowly making his way over to the home he never thought he would see again.  
  
----  
  
Jet's first thought immediately after 'Shit, Spike's alive? and 'Oh good, we're not doomed' was to wonder exactly what kind of person owns a ship big enough to dwarf a space station, yet completely undetectable to the Bebop's advanced sensors. He was willing to bet the ship was cloaked for more than just privacy reasons.  
  
"Hey, Faye? I have a bad feeling about this, keep your piece on you, but don't let whoever is with Spike see it." Faye nodded to him, looking serious, for once.  
  
"I know what you mean, this place gives me the creeps." Faye tried to suppress a full body shudder, "Stay on your toes, old man." Jet glared at her.  
  
"You know that I'm younger than you are, right?" Faye smirked.  
  
"Only chronologically, Jet." Jet was about to argue the point, when two figures appeared on the Bebop's main deck, one of which was Spike, and the other a complete stranger.  
  
----  
  
"Hey Jet, Faye." Spike raised his arm in greeting, wincing slightly from the movement, "what's up?"  
  
"Spike!" Faye ran towards Spike, catching him in a crushing hug, "Don't ever...*ever* worry me like that again!" Spike nodded absently, trying to pry Faye's death grip off of him.  
  
"Faye...air." The Asian woman looked properly chagrined as she let go of Spike. She then turned to Spike's rescuer.  
  
"Faye Valentine. Thanks for taking care of lunkhead over there. He's not much, but he's ours." Vash gave Faye an exaggerated bow.  
  
"Well, twas nothing ma'am. Why, for a pretty lady such as yourself, I'd do near anything. I don't suppose you need a bodyguard to help you get around this here rough little galaxy?" Vash spun to face Jet, who had been trying to sneak up behind the blond while he was 'distracted', Spike noted with some amusement.  
  
"And you!" Jet looked a bit nervous at being caught so easily, "I spoke to you on the comm, right? Jet, was it?" The large man's body relaxed as he realized that the blonde didn't suspect him of anything.  
  
"Er...yeah. Jet. Jet Black." Spike watched with laughter in his eyes as Jet's hand was pumped up and down by the over enthusiastic blonde. Spike frowned as Vash's eyes widened comically.  
  
"Hey, cool! You lost an arm too! You know, I could help you with that, I have some stuff on board that can really upgrade that old metal one." Jet cradled his metal arm protectively.  
  
"I like my arm just fine, thank you." Vash nodded happily.  
  
"Ah, well...you shouldn't dwell on the past too much, or you're likely forget about the present, ne?" Vash held up his arms appeasingly, "But if you like your arm, so be it. I just finished these mechanical nerve receptors though, and lemme tell you, it's great to be able to feel things again!"  
  
"Wait a minute," Spike interrupted, "you're, no offense Jet, an amputee too? You sure as hell don't look like it."  
  
"Aww, yeah, have been for years," Vash rapped his knuckles against his left arm, producing a hollow sound, "remember that whole rivalry thing with Knives that I was talking about?" Spike gestured in the affirmative, deliberately ignoring his partners' confused expressions. "Well, one of those fights...bang! Got my arm blown clean off! That was really the only time Knives ever hurt me, physically, but damn did it leave an impression. So to speak." Vash grinned at his audience.   
  
"What do you all say to sitting down for a nice home-ship cooked meal; it's about dinner time and everything's already been prepared. I've got plenty, just follow me!" Vash ran over to the doors controls, pressed a few buttons and disappeared through the frame.  
  
"Spike..." Jet started, dazed, "...just what *is* he?" Faye finished in much the same tone.  
  
"I'm not sure," Spike put both hands in his pockets, slowly walking towards the door, "but more important than that," he paused, his friends watching him tensely. Spike turned around, grinning, "do either of you have a cigarette? I'm dying for a smoke."  
  
  
-----------  
  
Vash was proud of himself. Perfect. This dinner was perfect.  
  
It had been so long since he had eaten anything other than donuts, that he was afraid he had forgotten how to cook. Meryl and Millie's cooking lessons had stayed in his mind though, and he was very happy they were there now.  
  
One thing no one seemed to realize back on Gunsmoke; plants did not need to eat. Nor take in water; they were essentially energy, sort of like giant batteries. And who'd ever heard of a battery needing to eat? Ah, but donuts were just too good to pass up. Even Knives had his food eccentricities, he was rather fond of rare wine vintages and fine cheeses. Vash had so far resisted Knives' attempts at making him have a more discerning palate, donuts and beer suited him fine. Of course, Vash suspected that his brother had given up trying to change his tastes long ago, and just liked to see him drunk. But that was neither here nor there.  
  
Vash stepped back from the table, satisfied with the arrangement of his mini-banquet. He had forgotten exactly how much Ningens ate, but it couldn't be more than half their body weight, could it? He hoped what he had cooked would suffice, after all, he didn't anticipate having *three* dinner guests, only one. The more the merrier, he supposed.  
  
/You're getting quite the collection, dear brother, just be careful. These new ones are a great deal more dangerous than your average pets./  
  
/I know that, you think I can't tell when someone is armed? I am Vash the Stampede, after all. And they're not pets!!/  
  
/You're feeding them, you gave clothing to the one, you're sheltering them and you seem to have volunteered to repair their ship; all without any visible means of compensation. So, they're either your new pets, or potential lovers. I'd rather them be pets, dear brother. Otherwise, I might just have to kill them./  
  
/You're not an idiot Knives. You know I haven't been with anyone else since-/  
  
/-Wolfwood, I know. And I can't say I was thrilled when you first told me of that little *foray* into romance. The only saving grace of the situation was that he kept you out of the beds of either of those females who seemed to follow you around. Wolfwood was at least intelligent. For a sp...*mental shudder*...human./  
  
/The girls names were Meryl and Millie./  
  
/Didn't know, didn't care. Now hurry up and finish playing with your new pets and do those damned errands before I get bored and come looking for you./  
  
/All right, brother. And they're not pets./  
  
/I expect a *really* nice apology when I see you again. And do remember to bring that gift you promised, I'm curious to know what it is./  
  
/I know, Tchuss!/  
  
/You and your languages./  
  
  
-----  
  
Back at the hangar-  
  
"You okay Spike?" Jet actually looked concerned, Spike would have been surprised if he hadn't been witness to his partner's outburst when he left to fight Vicious. Jet had truly shown concern for him, feelings far beyond a partnership level. Almost like a father...or a lov-  
  
His train of though was broken by Faye's soft grip on his shoulder. "Just who is this guy, and what the hell were you thinking, running off like that to get yourself killed?" Spike actually missed Faye's normal screechy tone, this new one was too soft.  
  
"I told you." Spike watched hungrily as Jet place a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Jet smirked at him, producing another from the pack, handing it to the nicotine starved man. Spike placed it between his lips, startled somewhat when Jet leaned forward, lighting the stick with the end of his own. He shook it off, concentrating on Faye.   
  
"I didn't go there to die. I went there to see if I was really alive; if I wasn't just dreaming. Question answered. And I have no clue who the blonde is, I just woke up twenty minutes ago. He's weird, *really* weird, but harmless. Both of you can put your weapons away now." Jet frowned, but obeyed, holstering the gun he'd taken out as soon as *Vash*, if that was his real name, had left the room.  
  
"I don't like this Spike, the guy gives off weird vibes. I've never seen a cloaking device like the one on this ship. Now you tell me, if he's harmless, then why the hell does he have such a sophisticated hiding system?"  
  
"Dunno." Spike shrugged, taking a deep drag from the cigarette.  
  
"How can you be so easy-going?!" Ahh...Faye's screeching; music to his ears. Spike once again shrugged.  
  
"I trust the guy, I don't know why, just instinct, I guess." Spike grinned over at Jet, who looked at him incredulously, "Hey man, don't look at me like that, I had this same damn feeling when I decided to join you on the Bebop. Was right about that one, wasn't I?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm still gonna do a check on this guy though." It was funny to see the 6'something, burly, bearded man pouting, but Spike wouldn't dare mention *that*. Not when he felt this weak, anyway.  
  
"Whatever you want, Jet. We should probably go now, he's expecting us to be right behind him."   
  
Faye smiled sweetly at Jet. "Odds are he's a better cook than you."  
  
"Shuddup, Faye, you're not helping." Spike glared at her, and walked towards the doorway, intent on explaining the mechanics of the thing, or maybe just shoving his friends through it and watching them scream.  
  
  
  
(A/N-- now I know I won't be getting much feedback from this story, since it's so specialized, but I would appreciate the opinions of the people who are reading this. Arigato) 


	4. for nobody

Nowhere Man  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: All I want is LOVE & PEACE....and some yaoi. Eventually.  
  
Disclaimer: Tribop Man isn't mine... see how combining words saves you time? Its splendaboulous  
  
  
Author's notes: Chapter 4, and the plot marches on....  
  
I'm really amazed at the positive feedback I'm getting from this one...it's starting to take over time from my first fic, darnit! Who knew there was a market for TriBop? Ya'll are as crazy as I am!  
  
  
  
Doesn't have a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me?  
-Nowhere Man, the Beatles  
  
Previous Chapter--  
  
Faye smiled sweetly at Jet. "Odds are he's a better cook than you."  
  
"Shuddup, Faye, you're not helping." Spike glared at her, and walked towards the doorway, intent on explaining the mechanics of the thing, or maybe just shoving his friends through it and watching them scream.  
  
  
----Chapter 4  
  
  
"-aaaah! What the hell?!" Jet and Faye lurched through the door, followed by a very smug looking Spike.  
  
  
"Hello strangers! Through with your reunion?" Vash waved enthusiastically from behind a counter of some sort. Spike looked at the room, taking in his surroundings.  
  
"Yeah, what is this place?" The three cowboys were standing in a fairly large room, filled with cafeteria-style tables and one long counter lined by stools. Currently, the counter was overflowing with a huge amount of food, all of which smelled absolutely delicious. There were place settings at four of the stools next to the rather artful looking arrangement.  
  
"Wow...look at this setup Jet, why can't you cook like that?" Faye elbowed her friend, earning herself a sideways death-glare.  
  
"I can, we just never have enough money for me to."  
  
"Settle down kids," Spike put a hand on Jet's shoulder, "Jet, I know you can cook. I remember when we used to be able to actually *afford* a dinner like this."  
  
"Until a certain someone weaseled her way into our lives," Jet grumbled.  
  
"Yeah, but she's our weasel." Spike winked at Jet, getting a half-smirk in return.  
  
"Hey, I'm right here you know."  
  
"You say something Faye?"  
  
Faye rolled her eyes, "Not a damn thing. Jerks."  
  
"Well then, if I'm not interrupting something, there's plenty to eat, so everyone help yourselves! Ask if you want anything else, and try the donuts! I made them myself but there not as good as the ones in this little bakery on Mars...they're just so golden and flaky and...anyway...enjoy!"  
  
"No man, this is great," Jet started filling a plate, "you gonna eat?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just waiting-"  
  
"I insist, cook goes first." Jet grinned at Vash humorlessly, Vash just shrugged.  
  
"If you insist, hey, I'm not complaining." The plant loaded his own plate, sat down on a nearby stool and began stuffing his face, pausing occasionally to swallow. Jet nodded, satisfied, and sat down next to the tall blonde, eating from his own plate. The other two followed Jet's example, Spike sitting beside Jet and Faye nearest the food.  
  
"So, uhh...Vash is it? What business are you in anyway?" Vash paused in his feast, looking over at the muscular man next to him and shrugging.  
  
"This and that. Mostly I do supply runs for my brother's projects. I like to wander, meet people, help out where I can with what I can...how about you?  
  
"Bounty hunters." Vash's fork clattered to the table. His right eye twitched slightly.  
  
"Rea-" Vash squeaked, then cleared his throat. "Really?" The second try sounded near normal. Jet appraised the blonde, he was definitely hiding something, the sooner Jet could get the Bebop and it's onboard criminal database online, the better.  
  
"Wow! Who would have thought...real live bounty hunters here! On my ship! This *is* special." Vash grinned, his eyes darting around the room desperately.  
  
"Excuse me for sounding rude, but you don't seem all that thrilled by our chosen profession."  
  
"Oh, it's not *that*, it's just that I've had a few past unpleasant experiences with bounty hunters and major property damage. But there are no bounties here, so I trust my ship will stay in one piece. It will, wont it? No blowing it up...no shooting holes through it...say, you don't own a giant metal boomerang, do you?"  
  
"No...just my fishing ship." Jet watched Vash, puzzled.  
  
"Ah...good. Speaking of your ship, as soon as you're done eating we should go and look at it. Whoever wants to come, that is. I have rooms that are made up if you want to rest instead."  
  
Faye raised her glass, smiling, "Here's to resting in a private room." Spike rolled his eyes at the woman.  
  
"You've never helped with the repairs before, why aren't I surprised you're not gonna now?" Faye stuck her tongue out at him. Jet stood up, finished, and turned to Vash.  
  
"The Bebop is pretty wrecked, are you sure you have the parts to fix it?" Vash nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"No problem, I have pretty much everything here, but I need to stop by Earth anyway, y'know, have to pick up a package. Anything I don't have we can get easily enough."  
  
"Right. I appreciate this, but I'm kind of confused on one thing."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Why are you doing this? I mean, why inconvenience yourself to help complete strangers?" Vash watched Jet silently, considering. He finally nodded.  
  
"Good Karma." Vash winked, grabbing Jet's arm and pulling him over to the door. He programmed the door quickly, glancing around the dining room. "Anyone else coming?"  
  
"Yeah, wait up." Spike stuffed the last few bites of whatever into his mouth, swallowing he joined the two men. "What about you Faye?"  
  
"That private room thing sounds nice, Mr. Vash." Faye smiled sweetly, "If you would just tell me how to get there, I'd be more than happy to find my own way."  
  
"Oh no, I can't have such a beautiful young lady wander the halls by herself, now can I? I've programmed the door to take you to your room after we leave, anyway. If you need anything, there's a comm in your room, so just give a ring, Seeya!" Vash waved to the woman, pushing Spike and Jet through the doorway, then disappearing after them.  
  
As soon as the three men left, the smile on Faye's lips turned into a deep scowl. There went her chance to investigate. Ah well, she'd win him over with her charm, and he'd tell her anything she wanted. This goof was just too nice for his own good.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
  
  
"Would you just hold still? I'm trying to pull it out!"  
  
"Your doing it wrong. You've got to push it in a little, twist, then pull out."  
  
"Don't tell me how to do it; I've been doing this since you were a kid."  
  
"Yeah, doing it *wrong*."  
  
"Oh, for God's sake!" Jet threw his hands up in the air, "you want to do it so badly, go ahead and try!"  
  
Spike grinned at Jet, "There, done. That's one more part we have to replace."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Smart ass, now move so I can fix the gravity." Spike stood up, overemphasizing the motion, and moved out of Jet's path.  
  
"Yes sir, Mr. Ship Expert, sir!" Jet grumbled under his breath, taking a drag off the smoldering cigarette dangling from his lips. Spike nearly moaned. "Hey Jet, do you happen to have another cigarette?"  
  
Jet looked up at the standing figure, his face a mask of annoyance, "This is my last one, dammit. It seems *someone* mooched all the others off of me.  
  
Spike bent down beside his friend, gently removing the lit cigarette from his lips. He took a deep drag, then handed the stick back to Jet, winking when he did.  
  
"I needed that." Jet stared at him, wide-eyed.  
  
"Damn Spike, warn me before you do shit like that."  
  
"Ehh, you know you like me anyway." Jet went back to grumbling and cursing over the equipment he was disassembling, and trying like hell to ignore the blush spreading across his face.  
  
"Hey guys, I got that doohickey you wanted!" Vash poked his head over some equipment and waved.  
  
"Good," Jet sat up, grimacing and rubbing the small of his back, "all we really need now is a gravity stabilizer and a few propulsion rods. Then I can go back to fixing the damn computer network." Jet sighed, "I miss Ed...she could have had the system online in half a day." Vash smiled weakly.  
  
"Uhh...I kind of already fixed your network. Everything should be up internally, and your connection to the wired is functioning again." Jet looked taken aback at that.  
  
"Shit, really? You just saved me a couple of days, man."  
  
"Hai, hai. No problem, but we're going to need to stop by earth for the gravity thingamajigger. That's good anyway, 'cause I have to pick up some parts and this gift I ordered awhile ago."  
  
"Earth, huh?" Spike leaned against a metal crate, "we could get in contact with Ed there, see how she's doing." Spike shot a meaningful glance at his friend, who nodded back to him. Vash seemed oblivious of their silent communication. Ed was the best technic/hacker around, if anyone could find info on the blonde, she could.  
  
"Good idea, Spike. we haven't talked to Ed in awhile." Vash watched the conversation with interest.  
  
"So...I'll go set a course to Earth, we should be there really soon. Ja ne." Vash waved again, disappearing from sight.  
  
"I wonder what's so important he has to go to a desolate planet like Earth, anyway?" Spike put his hand on Jet's shoulder in response.  
  
"Dunno, but whatever it is, we'll find out soon enough."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N Okay...its a filler chapter, but still necessary. What do you think? This fic is starting to take over time used for the other one. I really, really appreciate all the reviews, especially all of you who've reviewed more than once. Till next time! 


	5. Doesn't have a point of view,

Nowhere Man  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Yo, All Of you In reader-land...male/male pairing will be seen. Eventually.  
  
Disclaimer: Trigun, Cowboy Bebop and the Song Nowhere man aren't mine. I am neither Japanese, nor have a funky sixties haircut.  
  
  
Author's notes: Chapter five...march plot, march! This is mainly Vash's POV...also, a lot of people seem to think this is more bebop than Trigun, but be assured that I'm going to cover both main characters/relationships equally. It's going slow...but I actually have a general story idea and plot! collective gasp heard by audience  
  
Ah...and just to keep this str8 (unlike me and most of the characters), this is based of the anime version of Trigun where Wolfwood, well...y'know. *sniffle* As opposed to the manga, which I've actually found decent scanslations of.  
  
Nowhere Man, don't worry,  
Take your time, don't hurry,  
Leave it all till somebody else  
lend you a hand.   
-The Beatles  
  
Previous Chapter---  
  
  
  
"So...I'll go set a course to Earth, we should be there really soon. Ja ne." Vash waved again, disappearing from sight.  
  
"I wonder what's so important he has to go to a desolate planet like Earth, anyway?" Spike put his hand on Jet's shoulder in response.  
  
"Dunno, but whatever it is, we'll find out soon enough."  
  
  
  
---Chapter 5  
  
Man those bounty hunters were suspicious of him. Vash had been inadvertently picking up the woman, Fannie? Faye? and Jet's thoughts since they had arrived. He'd nearly forgotten how humans practically broadcast any thoughts they were concentrating intensely on. He hadn't had much contact with humans recently, most of his interaction was restricted to buying various things for Knives' projects...so he hadn't had a chance to pick up any errant projections.  
  
Vash had always hated picking up thoughts, he considered it rude, but there was little he could do about it when they were practically shouting into his ear. It had served him well over the years...reading thoughts, after all, was how he knew about Wolfwood.  
  
Vash sighed, playing with a few dials on some random console, he really had liked Wolfwood, his dark priest. The man was a raging tempest of conflicting emotions, all contradicting each other, all vying for the priests sole concentration. In a way, Nicholas has reminded Vash of his brother, only a lesser version of the same problems. A version that he could change.  
  
Maybe that was the true reason Vash wound up in the priest's arms, if only for a brief time.  
  
And Vash had changed Wolfwood, but the price was steep. Wolfwood's life was forfeit in the end, and Vash knew it was his fault, at least in part.  
  
And hearing his dying thoughts...  
  
Picking up human thoughts was a gift. And a curse. Vash still wasn't certain which his ability was, on that sad day in the past.  
  
But the past was the past, and Vash needed to do something in the present. Specifically, do something with the three people sitting in one of his guest rooms, discussing their impressions of him.  
  
Two of the three, Jet, Faye, were easy enough to handle, telegraphing their suspicions and intentions long before acting on them...Spike though, was a rare human indeed. He telegraphed nothing, projected nothing. Even if Vash was rude enough to try, he didn't think he could hear Spike's thoughts. This was the first human since his encounters with the gung-ho guns with such strong mental walls. Very interesting.  
  
But onto more important matters; ship parts, terraformer parts and the present for Knives. In that order...but he couldn't forget the present.  
  
If he did, Knives would most likely make the next twenty or so years of Vash's life very unpleasant.  
  
  
---------------  
  
"So what do you guys think of my 'savior', huh?" Spike lay stretched out on one of the two beds in Faye's room. Vash had given them three adjoining rooms, so meeting together was easy enough. He had also taught Spike and his friends how to operate the door-gates, at least to the point where they felt less trapped, more confident they could move around if needed.  
  
Faye had taken up residence on a comfortable looking couch, directly across from Spike's bed and Jet was sitting so close to the green haired bounty hunter that Spike could feel the man's breathing through the mattress.  
  
"I don't think he's going to be much trouble, he seems like kind of a goofball to me." Faye nodded her head towards the door, "Of course, appearances aren't everything, are they? And he's hiding something, but his poker face is good, even better than Spike's." Spike rolled his eyes at that.  
  
"Well, I just don't trust him. It's obvious he's hiding something big, and how much do you know about what really happened Spike? You told me yourself that he was lying about something from your 'rescue'. He could be leading us into a trap or...something." Spike stretched his legs out on the bed, knocking Jet off onto the floor and smirking.  
  
"I told you, I trust him, call it instinct. Even if he isn't telling the truth, I mean, we all lie, right? I go with my instincts."  
  
~"and look where it's gotten you..."~ Jet muttered, under his breath.  
  
"What's that Jet?"  
  
"Nothing, Spike; I just don't trust the guy, end of story." Jet stood up, an angry look on his face, his eyes fixed on Spike's. "I'm going to bed. I haven't slept for three days, what with fixing the Bebop and hoping we wouldn't die. See you guys later." Jet stormed out, slamming the door with a bang as he left.  
  
A minute of silence.  
  
"So..." Faye started, "what happened between you and the red dra-" Spike stood up quickly, and clapped his hands.  
  
"All right then, I'm tired. Later Faye, I'm going to get some sleep too." Spike gave her a little wave as he left the room. Faye growled with frustration.  
  
"Goddamn them, leaving me like that. Don't they know it's rude? And now...I'm talking to myself. Hell...I'm going to bed too..."  
  
"I don't know why I bother." Faye rolled her eyes thoroughly disgusted.  
  
"Men."  
  
--------  
  
"So you absolutely, positively have it, right? Don't toy with me, I've been searching for years." Vash was watching a rugged looking man through his vidphone.  
  
"Yeah, we got 'im, no problem, Mr. Vash. As long as you got the cash to buy 'im." The man sneered, and Vash could swear he saw dollar signs light up in his dull, flat eyes. He didn't care all that much, though. This merchant was one of the best at getting...well, anything.  
  
"Thank God, just don't sell before I get there. I'll make it worth your while, I swear it."  
  
"Yah will huh?" The man leered at Vash, winking lecherously. Vash suppressed a shudder, trying to smile instead.  
  
"Absolutely. Money is no object. I'll be there in 2 hours." The merchant's eye's narrowed, disappointment in plain view on his face.  
  
"Yeah, 2 hours, got it. Seeya."  
  
"Danke. Auf Weidersehen."  
  
"Wha-" Vash ended the communication link and turned to face his three guests. "Hello, you get enough sleep? Now, I didn't really want to wake anyone, so I waited. How'd you sleep?"  
  
"Best sleep I've had in months." Jet's eyes quickly darted to Spike, then back to Vash, "I've had things on my mind lately." Faye snorted to herself.  
  
"Almost dying from starvation while helplessly floating through space takes a lot out of you." Faye smirked knowingly at Jet, who returned the smirk in a mocking gesture.  
  
"Yeah...uh, that too. So Vash, we headed to Earth now?"  
  
"Oh yeah, let me just program the coordinates. We're going to take a transport ship to the surface, this ship is a little too big to land umm...anywhere really." Vash smiled brightly as he brought up several menus on the console, programming something too fast for any of the cowboys to see. "There we go, we'll be there in 10 minutes."  
  
"Who was on the vid phone?" Spike sat down in one of the nearby chairs, Jet following his example. Faye chose to stay standing, leaning on the wall.  
  
"Specialty merchant, nothing important really." Vash laughed self-consciously.  
  
"Ah." Spike leaned back into the chair, closing his eyes and relaxing. An awkward silence fell.   
  
Faye was studying Vash, sizing him up with a stare that seemed to be nearly predatory in nature.   
  
Vash was staring at his gloves, trying to avoid making eye contact with that stare.   
  
Jet was watching Spike with an unreadable expression on his face.   
  
And Spike was the only one of the four who looked comfortable, seemingly oblivious of the nearly palpable tension in the air.  
  
  
They stayed that way, each locked within their own thoughts and ambitions, until the computer announced their arrival in earth's orbit.  
  
------------  
  
"Okay, Faye, you stay with the Bebop, Spike and I are going to get the parts we need," Spike elbowed the larger man in the side, "and some cigarettes." Vash cleared his throat loudly.  
  
"I'll meet you at the parts shop, I have to pick up some supplies, load them and get that present. Shouldn't take too long." Vash waved at them, and walked off down the street, disappearing into the crowd.  
  
"Okay, you two get the parts and see if you can dig up any info on our blonde friend, I'm going to try and contact Ed, then dig around online. I'll call if I find something." Faye flicked her cigarette onto the ship deck and disappeared into the transport ship.  
  
"Guess she told us." Spike chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, let's just go already."  
  
-----  
  
"Well, that's almost all of our last bounty, gone." Jet commented as he loaded the parts they needed onto the transport, "Let's go to the bar now."   
  
The Smoky Owl was a rough place, a good Earthian information source on bounties, and cowboys gathered there frequently. Spike and Jet walked the ten blocks to get there.  
-----  
  
"Hey guys, what'll it be?" The bartender was a twitchy looking man, short, bald and sporting a nervous tic above his right eye.  
  
"Whisky for me, gin and tonic for the skinny guy next to me, and some information on a Vash the Stampede." Jet put several twenty-woolong bills on the counter, and the barkeep discreetly pocketed them, setting their drinks on the bar.  
  
"Vash the Stampede, now where have I heard that name before...oh yeah! Back on Ganameyde, bout forty years ago there was a Vash the Stampede that went up against a child labor ring, the poor bastards never had a chance. I hear things, you see." The twitchy man looked around quickly, leaning in and whispering to the two men.  
  
"Vash is a walking legend, so it goes. Whenever there's something that goes really bad- he's there. Child labor, slave rings, bank robberies, you name the crime, doesn't matter. There's a Vash story attached to almost every major felony. It's like he's his own law enforcement...showing up suddenly, apprehending criminals...all that stuff. Too bad about the damage though..."  
  
"Damage?" Spike raised his glass, getting a quick refill.  
  
"Yeah, they say that whenever Vash shows up, it's a good omen, and a bad omen. A good omen for the victims, y'know, of different crimes and stuff. A bad omen for any property owners within a fifty mile radius!" The bartender laughed his wheezing, dry laugh, slapping his hand against the bar. His laughter dried up quickly though.  
  
"Why do you want to know about that old story? The last anyone heard of the Stampede was thirty-some years ago...he's a legend. A restless ghost, wandering the galaxy. Some people think he's a ghost, y'know, a wandering spirit, a restless...HOLY SHI-!"  
  
The top half of the bartenders head disintegrated in a spray of blood and bone. Jet and Spike ducked as soon as they heard the shot, searching for the gunmen. Four men, all large, all mean looking and all carrying fully automatic machine guns. They appeared to be searching the room, a difficult task since so many people were running around in a panic.  
  
The two took advantage of the confusion, both edging towards the exit, removing their guns from their shoulder holsters and sneaking from cover to cover. Using tables, counters, whatever they could see as a shield from the gunmen, they crept closer to the door.  
  
Midway to the exit, they were spotted.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N Next chapter is on its way...thank ye in advance for reviews. 


	6. Knows not where he's going to,

Nowhere Man  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Crazy, wild mansex will be spotted periodically through this fic. Just not yet. You know, this is going to turn into an epic as I see it...so it may be awhile. The plot is holding me hostage, but we will have snugly Spike/Jet action soon.  
  
Disclaimer: Bebop, Trigun and Nowhere Man are not owned by me. I need a hug *sobbing*  
  
  
Author's notes: Finally, action! (sorry, not the snugly kind). Though Vash does have a nice kind of aerial ballet thing he's doing.  
  
  
Previous Chapter---  
  
  
The two took advantage of the confusion, both edging towards the exit, removing their guns from their shoulder holsters and sneaking from cover to cover. Using tables, counters, whatever they could see as a shield from the gunmen, they crept closer to the door.  
  
Midway to the exit, they were spotted.  
  
  
Chapter 6----  
  
"Shiiiiiit!" Jet ducked as several bullets whizzed over his head. "What the fuck did you do now Spike?!"  
  
"Why is it always my fault?!" Spike screamed over the barrage of gunfire, ducking behind a counter and reloading his gun. He registered Vash's presence kneeling beside him, a very large gun in hand. "I don't care how you got here right now...you know how to use that thing?"  
  
Vash winked at Spike, laying down cover-fire as Jet ran across the room, joining them under their makeshift shield.  
  
"Hey Vash, glad you're here." Jet nodded to the man, then turned to Spike, "Oh, I don't know..." He slammed a second magazine into his gun, exchanging fire with the nearest man, "It's just that BANG the last FIVE times BANG I've been shot at were all BANG related to you. It's funny..." Jet ducked behind the counter, dodging return fire, "...I'm starting to see a pattern BANG!...ha!" Jet grinned as the man went down, Vash looking at him in abject horror.  
  
"Don't kill them!" Spike stared at Vash, disbelief washing over his features.  
  
"What the hell do you think they're trying to do to us?!"  
  
"No one, no matter the circumstances, has the right to take the life of another. Get out of here...both of you. I'll cover you." Vash said sadly, as he reloaded his weapon. Spike unloaded his gun in the direction of the gunmen, then reloaded quickly.  
  
"You sure you'll be okay by yourself?" He managed to shout between rounds. The noise was getting intense, and the smell of gunpowder and heated metal hung in the air. Vash sighed impatiently.  
  
"Yes, yes...just go!" Vash jumped out from behind the counter as soon as there was a pause in gunfire. Spike watched him for a moment, stunned as the gangly looking blond twisted and dived, firing to distract the men. The way he moved...Spike was jerked out of his thoughts by Jet grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the door. They just made it out when they heard return fire from automatic weapons.  
  
"Shit, he's not going to make it through that!" Spike held his gun at ready position, listening carefully to the gunfight. He couldn't hear Vash's gun, but the others were still shooting, so it was likely that Vash wasn't dead yet. As Spike crept closer to the door, intent on at least trying to distract Vash's attackers long enough for all three of them to escape, silence descended on the bar. Spike stopped, listening.  
  
  
"You think we got him?" One of the gunmen.  
  
"Dunno, where is he?"  
  
"How the fuck should I know?! He wasn't on our target list!"  
  
"Just go look!"  
  
Spike listened to the three remaining men search the bar, they weren't exactly being delicate either. It sounded like they were just tossing the chairs and tables against whatever wall was nearby.  
  
"I tell you guys, this is weird. We have no information on this guy...he just shows up out of the blue, and now we cant find him. It's as if-"   
  
The voice was interrupted by the booming sound of Vash's gun. Spike counted three shots, then something exploded, shaking the ground underneath him. The bar's windows shattered outward as Spike and Jet dove for cover behind a truck parked nearby.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Jet stared at the bar as smoke tendrils rose form the pane-less windows. Spike shrugged at his friend, and slowly stood up, intent on helping Vash.  
  
As soon as Spike neared the bar, Vash stumbled through the door, and fell to the sidewalk. Jet ran up to Vash's prone form.  
  
"Hey man, you okay?" Vash sat up quickly, and sighed melodramatically.  
  
"I just hate being shot at... I hate it, hate it, *hate it*," he whined in a high-pitched voice. Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
"If you're not injured, we should probably get the hell out of here." Spike holstered his weapon, reaching a hand out to Vash to help the man up.  
  
"Yeah, that's a good idea...those guys are going to figure out that I'm gone pretty soon." Vash, mid-way to standing up, froze; a terrified expression on his face.  
  
"What is it?" Jet asked, nervous.  
  
"Oh, dear LORD!"  
  
"What, what...are you hurt? What's wrong?" Spike pulled Vash the rest of the way to his feet, doing a cursory inspection of the blonde, looking for wounds.  
  
"Th-the package! I left Knives' package in the bar!" Vash made a move towards the broken bar door, Jet holding his right arm and Spike his left.  
  
"Hey man, whatever is in that thing, it's not worth your life!" Jet tried to get a better grip on the suprisingly strong man as he struggled and kicked violently.  
  
"No...you don't understand!" Vash pulled away from the two men, trying not to hurt them, "it took me *years* to find that. Knives would *kill* me if I left it behind!"  
  
"Not if you're already dead!" Spike tried to grab Vash as he ran past, Vash just twisted out of his grip, vaulting through the window frame. Gunfire erupted once again.  
  
"What the hell-is he really *that* stupid?" Jet raved as he ducked behind their shelter-truck once more, pulling Spike behind him. Spike knelt down and sighed, removing a cigarette from his new package. He lit the cancer-stick and took a deep drag before responding.  
  
"Or he's that good." As soon as the last word fell from Spike's lips, Vash once again stumbled through the doorway, large package in hands. Shooting followed him out, and Vash seemed unaware of the bullets flying by, stumbling and coughing spastically.  
  
  
----  
As Vash stumbled away from the smoke, the three gunmen ran from the building, and spotted Vash gagging nearby. The leader raised his hand signaling for his men to be quiet. He aimed carefully...  
  
---  
Vash was watching the three men in the reflection from a nearby car...any second now...  
  
---  
Spike watched with a sinking feeling...they were going to ambush Vash...he couldn't allow that.  
  
--  
Vash tensed, completely focused on the gunmen, when...  
  
"Watch out Vash, they're behind you?!"  
  
"Huh?" Vash's head swung towards Spike's voice in the same instant the lead gunman fired. His eyes widened as he cursed himself out for several nano-seconds.  
--  
Crap, all Spike had managed to do was distract Vash, ensuring his death. Spike kept his gaze focused on the blonde, determined to watch the consequences of his actions, if nothing else. After Vash fell, Spike would attack, and damn the consequences.  
  
But, as the bullets fired, Vash seemed to almost, blink out of existence for a moment, appearing ten feet away from where he'd been.  
  
/How the hell.../  
---  
  
Vash sighed inwardly, those guys almost had him. Actually hit him, in fact, grazing his left cheek and boy it stung! Vash stumbled, unloading his gun quickly as he tripped over his feet, and, as he fell, threw three bullets. All three gunmen fell a second later, unconcious.  
  
Vash lay there as Spike and Jet rushed over to him, most likely to see what kind of fatal wound he had. This was going to be hard to explain. Also...how was he going to explain being able to move faster than Spike could follow? He thanked the powers that be Jet was reloading his weapon when he performed his 'miraculous act'. Eh...think about it another time. Right now...they had to leave before the bad guys came to.  
----  
  
"Run!" Vash shouted, getting up quickly, and starting down the street. The two gunmen were forced to follow him at an insane pace.  
  
"You hurt?" Jet managed to pant out, trying to keep up with the two youthful men.  
  
"Naww, just scratched, I've had worse," Vash didn't even sound winded. He slowed his pace to a walk after a few blocks, "I'm pretty sure we've lost them, we should get back to the ship. Jet and Spike wheezed in reply.  
  
They walked together, silent for a few blocks, the two bounty hunters trying to recover. Eventually, Spiked turned to Vash, angry.  
  
"So whatever is in that package is worth your life?" Vash's eyes widened comically.  
  
"Oh, no...well, not really. But Knives would never forgive me if I let his gift blow up, or get shot at or something. I'd much rather face those guys than Knives when he's 'in a mood'. Brr..." Vash shivered. Last time he'd forgotten something promised to his brother was still fresh in his memory.  
  
"Riight." Jet's comm beeped; stopped in the street to flip it open. Faye's face filled the screen, looking uncharacteristically worried.  
  
"Jet! Are Spike and Vash with you?" Jet arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, what do you want?"  
  
"Get back to the ship *right now*, and make sure no one spots you."  
  
"Little late for that," Spike muttered to himself, and Vash snorted in amusement. Jet gave a dirty look to both men, then turned back to the comm.  
  
"What's going on?" Vash and Spike leaned over Jet to watch Faye.  
  
"I'll explain everything when you get back. How far away are you now?" Spike checked the street names, before answering for Jet.  
  
"We're just around the corner Faye, be there in a moment." Faye nodded.  
  
"Good, hurry up, as soon as you get here, we're taking off."  
  
"Just what the heck happened Faye?" Jet asked as they rounded the corner. They spotted the transport ship and Faye standing out on the deck. Faye flipped her comm shut, waving frantically to the group and making impatient gestures. The three hurried over and boarded the ship, Faye following. She handed a small piece of paper to Vash.  
  
"Here, these are the latitude and longitude coordinates where we're meeting someone who can help us." Spike made a low noise in the back of his throat.  
  
"Not that I mind all the cloak and dagger stuff, really, a woman's got to have her mystery and all, especially approaching old age. But I'd like to know what's going on if it involves me." Faye crossed her arms, and glared at Spike.  
  
"First of all, I'm not old! And I have plenty of mystery in my female charms without having to keep secrets from you, thank you very much!" Faye tossed her laptop to Jet, "Just for that, Jet gets to see first."  
  
Jet sat down in a chair and smirked at Spike, "See, that's what you get for being so impatient," Jet's smirk disappeared and his eyes widened as he took in the contents of the screen, "Holy shit! We're now wanted criminals...worth a bundle too."  
  
"Oh yeah, how much this time?" Spike flicked the tip of his cigarette; somehow he'd managed to hold onto it through their brief run."  
  
"Sixty million woolongs each for Jet, Ed, Vash and me; a whopping one hundred and twenty for lunkhead over there." Faye replied. Vash jerked around quickly from the control panel he was programming coordinates into.  
  
"You're saying...I'm now a wanted man? I have a bounty on me?" He eyes grew inhumanly wide, "not again! I must have killed Lady Luck's first born in a previous life!" Vash collapsed to his knees, head held in hands.  
  
"Hold up on the drama for a second," Spike arched an eyebrow at the pathetic looking heap of blonde in front of him.  
  
"What do you mean, again?"  
  
Vash ignored the question, muttering something about fate and being cursed.  
  
  
  
A/N I'm not sure if that action scene went the way I wanted.. but I tried. It's damn hard describing Vash's movements in writing, or the bebop crews reactions...almost as bad as trying to narrate a DBZ fight *whacks head on her desk* Tell me if I'm doing an adequate job 


	7. Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere Man  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Jet is damn cute when he blushes...and this comes from a lesbian. Speaking of lesbians...there's a lot of gay action in this fic, all male. (methinks)...so if you don't like it, don't read it.  
  
Disclaimer: Trigun, Bebop and Nowhere Man ARE mine *large men in white coats crawl out of the woodwork and grab the author* Wait! Waiiit! Shit... they're not mine. *the men nod to themselves, disappearing, for now.*  
  
  
Author's notes: Stuff. Reactions. More stuff. And Ed.  
  
---Previous Chapter  
  
"Hold up on the drama for a second," Spike arched an eyebrow at the pathetic looking heap of blonde in front of him.  
  
"What do you mean, again?"  
  
Vash ignored the question, muttering something about fate and being cursed.  
  
Chapter 7----  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
/Vash, I sense your troubled, what's wrong?/ Vash stopped his frantic tirade as his brother's soothing presence filled his head. The three spectators looked on, curious what had silenced him.  
  
/Trouble...you think I'm troubled. Well, yes...I suppose I am troubled, seeing as I have another BOUNTY on my head!/  
  
/*amused laughter* Oh really...oh, Vash. You see what happens when you intervene in your pet's affairs? How many times is this now?/  
  
/Three times, three! And I've never done anything!/  
  
/Oh, but you did...you got involved. I swear, you haven't learned a thing in all these years. Sometimes, I wonder about you./  
  
/Knives...*warning tone*..don't start this again./  
  
/What? I'm only implying that if you ignore the *lesser* beings of the universe, you might be a great deal happier./  
  
/Stop it...I don't want to get into this again./  
  
/Very well, but don't think this discussion is over. And Vash?/  
  
/What?/  
  
/Do be careful...and hurry home./  
  
/Thanks Knives./  
  
Somehow talking, even arguing with Knives always calmed Vash down. Maybe it was because he couldn't speak to anyone else in that manner, maybe because Knives was his brother...or maybe because Knives was just...Knives. Whichever it was, Vash had calmed down quite a bit and could now turn to face his audience.  
  
----  
  
Jet watched Vash as he went through his little breakdown. Well, Jet wasn't actually watching Vash, he was really trying to sort out the pieces of their latest gun battle in his head. The whole thing seemed a little off, and he had several questions to ask the blonde, but later, after they were out of immediate danger.  
  
Spike had seen more of Vash's movements than he had, so they could compare notes before he asked any questions anyway. Comparing notes...when had his life gotten so complicated?  
  
Right around the time he lost his arm. Jet shook off the thought, turning his attention back to the blonde in front of him, who now looked considerably calmer. He decided to repeat his partners question.  
  
"Vash, what do you mean again? You've had a price on your head before?"  
  
"Well..." Vash clumsily got to his feet, "it's a pretty long and complicated story so I wont go through all of it, but the last time was a case of mistaken identity." Vash laughed nervously.  
  
"What do you mean, mistaken identity?" Faye asked, showing interest in the conversation for the first time.  
  
" I wouldn't want to get the parties involved upset with me, and it's not nice to point out other people's mistakes, so I'll just leave it at that."  
  
"Hey, Spike, speaking of mistakes," Faye glared at her friend, "what the *hell* possessed you to storm the Red Dragon headquarters? Do you know how much shit we caught from that?!"  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that," Spike winced at Faye's expression, "you guys weren't supposed to get involved."  
  
Jet shook his head angrily, "No...no Spike. We were involved from the beginning, it wasn't fair for you to go off alone. We're partners." Spike turned away from his friends, sitting down near one of the consoles.  
  
"Look...can we not talk about this now? We've got more important things to deal with than 'fairness'." Jet and Faye sighed simultaneously.  
  
"Fine, for now." They both said. Vash quirked an eyebrow at the pair as they glared at each other. Vash coughed to himself.  
  
"Well, this is nice and all...but we've arrived at Faye's destination." Faye broke the staring contest between her Jet and herself with a smile.  
  
"Good, let's go." Vash watched her, confusion written on his face.  
  
"Go where? We're wanted criminals, wouldn't it make more sense to not go out in public?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Jet started, sarcastic, "you're cautious now, but where was your sense of self-preservation when you *dove into a burning building?!*" Vash looked wounded by Jet's words.  
  
"Hey, that was different, Knives would've been really upset if I promised him something, then forgot it."  
  
Spike smirked, "This Knives guy sounds like someone I'd want to meet." Vash's eyes grew really wide.  
  
"NO!! I mean...ah, no. No. Knives is not...a people person. At all. Ever." Spike was about to reply, when Faye stepped between him and Vash.  
  
"Yeah, this is fun and everything, but Ed is probably waiting for us, or staring at a shiny object-either way."  
  
"And Ed is who?" Vash was confused, again, but relieved at the subject change. Discussing Knives various moods with humans was not his favorite pastime.  
  
Faye replied before anyone else, "Ed is...Ed. She's sort of an idiot-savant hacker extraordinarre. The last member of the Bebop team." Jet snorted.  
  
"Team nothing...bunch of freeloaders is more like it." Vash turned his attention to Jet.  
  
"I remember you saying something about an Ed...this the same person?" Jet nodded, and Vash grinned, "Well, then...let's go! Faster we pick her up, faster we leave." The three looked at him.  
  
"Leave for where? Not like we know what's going on..." Spike muttered under his breath, but Faye picked it up.  
  
"Ed knows; she's the one who contacted me." Faye muttered over her shoulder as she walked out the door.  
  
--------  
  
  
"Jet-person! Faye-person! Spike-person, Ed is so happy to see all of you without any holes!!" The strange red-headed...thing leapt at each person as she(?) called their names. Vash could only watch as she turned her attention to him.  
  
"Ed wants to know who Spiky-head is." Vash looked stricken, much to Spikes amusement. People looked like that a lot around Ed.  
  
"Ed, this is Vash. Vash, meet Ed. She doesn't bite...friends."  
  
"Woof! Grrrr...." Ed bared her teeth in a weird grin, then dropped her bag on the ground. She opened it to reveal a calm-looking Welsh Corgi, "And this is Ed's assistant, cowdog extraordinarre Ein!"  
  
"Ein!" Jet had a huge grin plastered on his face as he rushed over to the dog, "How you been boy?" He knelt down and hugged the dog, then seemed to realize people were watching him and straightened up, clearing his throat to conceal his embarrassment. Ed pat Jet's leg gently.  
  
"That's okay, Ein missed Jet-person too!"  
  
"Who said anything about me missing that good for nothing flea-ridden eating machine? Now I'm going to have yet another mouth to feed." He folded his arms across his chest and scowled. Vash cautiously approached him.  
  
"Umm...Mr. Black-sir? I have plenty of food, and I can coo-" Jet glared at the blond who 'meep'ed and shut up quickly, backing away.  
  
"I've never had to rely on charity to feed my crew, and I never will. We'll get along fine."  
  
"But it wouldn't be charity...I was just-" Vash was interrupted yet again.  
  
"Thank you for your offer, but I've already bought groceries."  
  
"But-" Jet stared Vash down into silence. Spike decided to interrupt the two men...Vash looked like he wanted to disappear into the cracks between the floor tiles.  
  
"Vash, when Jet has something stuck in that thick head of his, no one can change his mind." Spike smiled when Jet looked at him, mock offended. Vash nodded, inching closer to Faye, leaning down to whisper.  
  
"Is he...always this scary?" Faye winked at Vash, placing a hand on his shoulder for effect.  
  
"Naww, sometimes he can be downright mean."  
  
"I heard that Faye! If you've got time to make snarky comment, you've got time to tell us what in Solaris is going on." Faye gave her feminine little laugh.  
  
"Naww..I'll let Ed handle it on the ship, she knows more anyway."  
----------  
  
"So, what you're saying is that all of us, except Ein, have two bounties on our heads." Ed looked up from her computer to nod to Spike.  
  
The entire group was gathered around Tomato, Ed's computer, watching as she pulled various images up on the screen.   
  
"-and the official bounty is a joint effort between Mars government and ISSP?" Jet continued from Spikes question.  
  
"Yep, yep yep!" Ed sang.   
  
Spike then interrupted Jet, shoving him further away from the computer to get a closer look. "-and there's another unofficial underground bounty, twice the official one, to see us dead?" Jet shoved Spike to the side, looking over Ed's shoulder at the screen.  
  
"You got it!"   
  
"Can you trace the unofficial bounty?" Both Jet and Spike, together. Ed waved her hands in front of the keyboard.  
  
"Tracing...tracing, where arrreee yoooooou? Got it!" Jet pushed Spike out of the way to read the information onscreen.  
  
Jet frowned, "The money is held in dummy accounts at Med-tek labs, which we all know is a-"  
  
"-Red Dragon owned and operated front." Spike finished. Vash tapped Faye on the shoulder.  
  
"Are they always like this?" He whispered to her. She nodded.  
  
"Usually worse, it's gets embarrassing when they finish each others-"  
  
"Sentences!" Spike and Jet grinned at Faye, who rolled her eyes. Vash decided to ignore the weirdness.  
  
"So, just to recap, I save his life," Vash pointed to Spike, "and through him, I end up saving your lives, "He points to Jet and Faye, "and get...a bounty on my head." Vash slapped his forehead loudly.  
  
"No, wait! Two bounties on my head, one to see me dead by some dragon-club,"  
  
"The Red Dragon Syndicate, everyone knows who they are." Jet looked at Vash questioningly.  
  
"Yeah, that. So now, we're running, I have wanted people on my ship, and Knives is going to *kill* me for what I'm about to do."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
  
/Yes, please do enlighten me, brother./ Vash winced at the dangerously calm voice filling his head.  
  
"I'm going to take you...home."  
  
"What?" The four humans asked together.  
  
/WHAT?!?!!!/ Vash winced.  
  
"Well, it's the only logical choice, really. No one knows about my home except Knives and it's his home too. They have no information on me, we heard that much back at the bar, so it stands to reason we'd be safe there until we can come up with some sort of plan. You know, a plan that comes up with a way for everyone not to die painful deaths, but Knives is not going to like this." The humans watched Vash as he grew still, and the color drained from his face.  
-------  
  
/Oh no, Knives is quite beyond *not* liking it./  
  
/Come on Knives.../  
  
/No. Absolutely not, I will not have spiders touching foot on Eden. Once was bad enough!/  
  
/But they've got nowhere else to go./  
  
/Let them rot/  
  
/You can't be serious. Besides, I'm taking care of them, you know I can't abandon them defenseless and alone./  
  
/They're bounty hunters, Vash. You know...bounty hunters, guns, blood, money, all the people who used to chase and try to kill you? Hardly defenseless./  
  
/But there's this giant organized crime thing coming for them...the dragony sins or something./  
  
/The Red Dragon Syndicate./  
  
/How?/  
  
/I keep appraised of current spider politics, they amuse me. It's great fun to watch the infantile systems they come up with fail./  
  
/They're after me too Knives./  
  
/One of the reasons for you to come home. Alone./  
  
/And the others would be?/  
  
/Me./  
  
/And you think that's enough?/  
  
/It should be. I'm...alone here, and you're alone there; it's only logical we should be together./  
  
/I'm not coming home without them. They're my responsibility./  
  
/Responsibility....responsibility?! You have no such obligations for creatures such as them. They got themselves into...whatever it is, not you./  
  
/But...you miss me, don't you Knives?/  
  
/Whenever you're away. I still don't see-/  
  
/You want me to come home, right?/  
  
/Yes, now just listen to reas-/  
  
/And when I get back, you want us to...get reacquainted, right?/  
  
/Vaash.../  
  
/Well, it will be a *very* long time before I get back if I'm not allowed to bring them./  
  
/Just exactly...wait. How long?/  
  
/I'd have to find a safe place for them, find the people chasing us and stop them./  
  
/You can't stop an entire organized crime ring by yourself./  
  
/Well, that's why it'll take so long, who knows when I'd get home.../  
  
/.../  
  
/I could be away for months, years even./  
  
/....../  
  
/And goodness knows how I'd stop them...it's not like the old days, when gangs were small and pretty dumb. Who knows what could happen./  
  
/ALL RIGHT! I'll do it, I'll let them stay, damn you. Just don't expect me to be civil./  
  
/Wouldn't dream of it./  
  
/Sometimes, I hate you Vash./  
  
/I miss you too Knives. I'll talk to you later, on the comm./  
  
/Comm? That's so...primitive./  
  
/Oo... sorry Knives, I gotta go!/  
  
-----------  
  
The color slowly bled back into Vash's complexion as he blinked, looking around.  
  
"Okay everyone, I have a safe hideout we can use. Only problem, my brother lives there, but as long as no one uhh...provokes him," Jet stared pointedly at Spike.  
  
"He means you." Vash sighed.  
  
"I mean all of you. We're going now, but when we arrive don't ask questions. Don't ask me where we are, how we got there, or why it's there in the first place; I won't answer any of those and Knives will just get angry. You don't want Knives to get angry, he tends to go a little crazy."  
  
"Okay, I have just one question before we go." Spike said.  
  
"That is?"  
  
"Why do you freeze up in the middle of our conversations? Are you doing your statute imitation or just ignoring us?"  
  
"Oh, well," Vash cleared his throat nervously, " I have this thing. In my brain...not a bad thing!" He stared at them innocently, "Just not normal. It makes me freeze up every so often when I'm in deep thought, so ignore me when it happens and I'll eventually snap out of it."  
  
"...brain thing." Faye repeated, disbelieving.  
  
"Yeah, it's not harmful, just really, really annoying sometimes." Faye gave him an appraising look, then shrugged.  
  
"....okay then, let's just go then." Ed had been surprisingly quiet through the whole conversation, but now she stood up, walking over to Vash to pat his knee reassuringly.  
  
"Don't worry Spiky Vash-person. Ed has a funny brain too!."  
  
"This is going to be a long trip." Vash looked up at Jet's grumbling.  
  
"Oh no, only a couple of days." Jet tried not to roll his eyes at the blonde's smile.  
  
"I stand corrected."  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Yes, it took a long time... yes it's mostly plot....but the next chapter has Spike and Jet trapped on a giant ship...so that's good. Ill get it out faster, I swear. And I still love feedback. 


End file.
